Shortly before Brother Four died
he was mad at me
Really mad
Furious, in fact
So furious
he declared me
unfit
unworthy
and generally
a blight on humankind
I was never…ever…to be notified
of his death
which, by the way,
was not impending
Brother Four
was
perfectly healthy
until
he slammed his motorcycle
into the back of a semi--
an ornery, messy, ugly way to go
Being scraped up off the highway
pieced back together
just for the grave
A family tragedy of mammoth proportions
And there I was
me and my paintbrushes
loving life
as Very Mad Family
nursed grudges
and covertly
buried our dead brother
The greatest
most impressive
“gotcha”…ever
in the history of
Very Mad Family
Not just a dead brother--
a mangled, dismembered brother
Epic spite
Surpassing all previous acts of bitter vengeance
pulled off by Very Mad Family:
Brother One exterminated
by heroin
His ravaged body rejected
interred by strangers in black suits
Brother Three--
a viper posing
with starlit smiles and easy laughter--
embezzling every last crumb
from our Mom
A swindle so brilliant
so humbly devious
I offered cash
for his sad-sack con
It pays to look
like you stepped off the pages
of an L.L. Bean catalog
Something shady
about the name unsaid
suspiciously deleted
from Very Mad Family’s lexicon
I listen
to the serrated under-air
Has Brother Four fallen out of favor? Unlikely
Has he fallen off the face of the earth? Possibly
But…I am too tired to ask
Too exhausted to battle
yet another underhanded shenanigan
So…I sit back
on tender haunches
and watch
their sideshow of deceit unravel
They were beautiful, sweet boys--
my brothers
Hair slicked with Brylcreem
Dandy in their tiny, matching sport coats
Snuggly in their cowboy pjs
Funny, curious, active little guys
Until Beaumont Road
and the beatings
Savage. Dehumanizing.
The baritone:
What did I tell you? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Mornings after
little boys
stiff and sore
wearing old-men’s arthritic bodies
Welts and bruises
broken hearts
left by the belt
carried to school
beneath striped polo shirts
The occasional blazing handprint
of shame blooming
across a soft cheek
Again and again
moments of dark compensation
descend
on Very Mad Family
Cloudy moments
quivering on the edge
between
self-love and self-harm
healing and hurting
where broken hearts
always decide
the sufficient recompense
for suffering
Suffering
that cannot be explained
or understood by the unaffected
Very Mad Family--
a collection of broken hearts
My little brothers--
Jackie, Bobby, Paul, Tommy--
living still on Beaumont Road
khf/12.8.22
he was mad at me
Really mad
Furious, in fact
So furious
he declared me
unfit
unworthy
and generally
a blight on humankind
I was never…ever…to be notified
of his death
which, by the way,
was not impending
Brother Four
was
perfectly healthy
until
he slammed his motorcycle
into the back of a semi--
an ornery, messy, ugly way to go
Being scraped up off the highway
pieced back together
just for the grave
A family tragedy of mammoth proportions
And there I was
me and my paintbrushes
loving life
as Very Mad Family
nursed grudges
and covertly
buried our dead brother
The greatest
most impressive
“gotcha”…ever
in the history of
Very Mad Family
Not just a dead brother--
a mangled, dismembered brother
Epic spite
Surpassing all previous acts of bitter vengeance
pulled off by Very Mad Family:
Brother One exterminated
by heroin
His ravaged body rejected
interred by strangers in black suits
Brother Three--
a viper posing
with starlit smiles and easy laughter--
embezzling every last crumb
from our Mom
A swindle so brilliant
so humbly devious
I offered cash
for his sad-sack con
It pays to look
like you stepped off the pages
of an L.L. Bean catalog
Something shady
about the name unsaid
suspiciously deleted
from Very Mad Family’s lexicon
I listen
to the serrated under-air
Has Brother Four fallen out of favor? Unlikely
Has he fallen off the face of the earth? Possibly
But…I am too tired to ask
Too exhausted to battle
yet another underhanded shenanigan
So…I sit back
on tender haunches
and watch
their sideshow of deceit unravel
They were beautiful, sweet boys--
my brothers
Hair slicked with Brylcreem
Dandy in their tiny, matching sport coats
Snuggly in their cowboy pjs
Funny, curious, active little guys
Until Beaumont Road
and the beatings
Savage. Dehumanizing.
The baritone:
What did I tell you? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Mornings after
little boys
stiff and sore
wearing old-men’s arthritic bodies
Welts and bruises
broken hearts
left by the belt
carried to school
beneath striped polo shirts
The occasional blazing handprint
of shame blooming
across a soft cheek
Again and again
moments of dark compensation
descend
on Very Mad Family
Cloudy moments
quivering on the edge
between
self-love and self-harm
healing and hurting
where broken hearts
always decide
the sufficient recompense
for suffering
Suffering
that cannot be explained
or understood by the unaffected
Very Mad Family--
a collection of broken hearts
My little brothers--
Jackie, Bobby, Paul, Tommy--
living still on Beaumont Road
khf/12.8.22